Miss Bee's Big Gift Question

Well happy Monday to all of you fine ladies and gents! We all survived the weekend (somehow), and now it's back to the grind. Oh well. 'I don't want to work, but I have to work, to make enough money so I don't have to work' - probably my favourite motto that was printed on one of my mother's many tea mugs. Maybe I'd replace the last part with 'so I can afford the epic crazy wedding that grows out of control in my head with each passing day'.  ANYWHO. Today's question comes from the lovely response on my Facebook, as with my past crazy week I came up short with a Big Question topic. Luckily now I have a nice cache of them all saved up!

This one I can honestly say I've thought about, and in my mind has quite a few pros and cons, but I'm still on the fence about it! So here goes nothing:

Is it rude to ask for money instead of establishing a wedding gift registry?

Pro to asking for money: if you're a couple who's already lived together for many years, and you've built up/nested completely, getting a registry can seem superfluous. And really, if you've also been living together (most likely in an apartment) for all that time, anything toward your first house would be a god send.

Con to asking for money: It can appear really tacky or grabby. Like, "I really don't want you to put any thought into your gift for us, so just cash kthxbai". It kind of smacks of the whole "Do I give a gift that I have no idea they'll like, or just give them a gift card to this store so they can pick out their own stuff" dilemma.

Again, I'm sort of on the fence! I like shiny things. ...Okay aside from that though, what if, hypothetically, I won't be living with my boyfriend long enough to establish a cache of stuff which is necessary for building a life? The wedding is an opportunity for your guests, who want to celebrate your union, to help you out, isn't it? In that regard though, asking for money can be tilted with the same perspective. 'We want to put a down payment on our first home, help a brutha out!'

And there are also alternatives. A new fad that's come out recently is the 'Honeymoon Registry', where couples will set up a wed-site or a paypal account where guests donate money toward the couple's honeymoon (which many can't afford after the exorbitant wedding!) rather than gifts. So why not gear it toward a house? Purchase of a new car? Or some other big ticket item in lieu of THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS OF TOASTERS?

Or there is a standard of late, which I am still kind of partial to - 'instead of gifts, please make donations to (insert charity of our choice)', which is also an amazing alternative for those who can barely afford to feed themselves, have proper healthcare, or live in a stable environment . . . not to mention have a fancy wedding. 

Or just accept nothing at all--no gifts, no money, nothing--have a blast, and call it a day.

So what do you think, Prairie peeps?

♥Miss Bee

1 comment:

  1. I really like the idea of setting up a donation fund for house. I read an article in the Free Press this morning about it. It's helpful, AND if one has already been living with their future spouse, then as you said, one has accumulated home goods already!